Peace or Free Will
by Madd Aless
Summary: What happened between the fall and the streetlight? slightly AU   Sam POV Set around Swan Song.  One shot probably.  1st attempt but wanted to post before season 6 starts. please read and review


What was this place?

He couldn't quite decide even if he liked it or not. It was calm - sort of peaceful and foggy. It wasn't dark or bright, but there was a gentle glow from nowhere in particular. There wasn't any sound either, nothing to see or hear.

Where was he and how had he gotten here?

He tried to remember, but it all seemed fuzzy, like trying to remember a dream. The last things he could recall were falling into darkness with Adam's body a few feet away. Before that he could remember seeing Dean's bloody and beaten face and hear him saying how he wasn't alone. There were also countless images of a shared past and a deep abiding love.

He had done what was necessary to save his brother and the world. He had jumped knowing it was the end of life for him and the beginning of eternal punishment for all the bad choices he had made with his rationalization and good intentions.

It had been the right choice and the only way to save everything including the brother he loved above all else.

To give Dean that chance at life and happiness that by his very existence had been lost. He had wanted Dean free. Free to live his own life. Free from the burden of destiny. Free from the burden of having to constantly watch out for his little brother.

He had chosen to do what was necessary and right to correct his past mistakes yes, but mostly to save and protect the one person who had tried to save and protect him, his brother.

So where was he now? Why wasn't he in the pit suffering eternal torment for his stupid mistakes, his misguided judgment, and his evil choices of the past?

"You chose to give up everything including your life for the greater good and because you sincerely asked to be forgiven; he forgave you all of your sins, both imagined and real." said a voice behind him.

Sam spun quickly around realizing he was no longer alone. "Chuck? Chuck. What are you doing here, dude and where is here?"

"Neither of those things is important, now. But there is one very important thing, a choice you must make and make quickly. Peace or Free Will."

"Peace or Free Will?"

"Yes, for you there is a choice to be made.

Peace, the peace of heaven and Jessica. Peace, an end to all the fighting and pain of your past. Peace that will come with knowing you never have to hunt again, to never have to kill again. Peace from the knowledge that you will never have to face another decision that is wrong or where people get hurt."

"Sounds almost perfect, too perfect. The other choice?"

"Free Will, the free will of life on earth.

Free Will, freedom to make choices and change things for better or worse, to continue the fight and maybe save others.

"Dean" whispers Sam.

"Dean will live much longer should you choose to return. But be warned he will be in deadly peril if you contact him. Knowledge of your return could mean his death."

"Free Will. This choice would be you alone against all those things you faced in the past and more. Because there is a job that still needs doing. A job that will save others, but at great cost to you in more pain and suffering.

Free Will with the pain that comes from making decisions that have no clear choice and some will once again prove to be wrong. Pain from physical injury but more importantly pain from the mental suffering that is loneliness. You would return to hunting, but alone saving people and hunting things. The family business but there would be no family, just you."

"Hunting alone without Dean? If this is so important why can't I have Dean's help?" asks Sam thoroughly confused by all this.

"There are reasons, the first being that you would likely cause his death, but there are others. No, I will not tell. In fact you will remember nothing of this; other than you must not let Dean know of your return. Hunting would be your life and you may never be anything but alone until you fail to survive against the coming monsters. Until that failure happens though you may manage to save many."

"And Dean?"

"He will live awhile, but how long depends largely on your choices."

"So Sam? Peace or Free Will?"

Sam's choice is made in an instant.

Sam awakens alone in a motel room not knowing how he is back. He has only vague dreams of a conversation, maybe with Chuck. The only thing that seems certain is he must keep Dean safe by keeping his return a secret while trying to do the job and take care of the family business on his own.

A long while later, standing under a street lamp he knows he loves his brother and has missed their partnership and maybe together they can succeed, because he can no longer do it alone he can no longer protect Dean from the shadows

Free Will, is the struggle and not knowing whether he is making a decision that will turn out bad, good, or some of both. He just hopes it right choice now.

Peace might have been easier but at what price would doing nothing to stop the evil have come.

Approaching the door Sam raises his hand to knock, not knowing what this choice may bring.

.


End file.
